I started learning Japanese from the hiragana table and ended up here

Staring at a hiragana chart on the wall of my room

I remember sitting in my room about a year ago, staring at a printout of the hiragana table I found online. It felt so incredibly slow. I kept confusing ‘so’ and ‘n’, and the whole process felt like trying to memorize secret codes rather than learning a language. I had this vague, slightly desperate idea that maybe picking up some basic Japanese would make me a more attractive candidate for those IT jobs in Tokyo. Everyone says IT jobs are always open, but the actual process of getting there feels like moving through thick mud. I spent about two weeks just trying to get the hang of those basic strokes before I even looked at a textbook.

The reality of local language academies

I tried signing up for a local academy that was listed under a government-subsidized program, similar to the Tomorrow Learning Card system. It wasn’t exactly glamorous. The classroom was cramped, and the smell of old paper and lukewarm coffee seemed to be a permanent feature. It was about 250,000 KRW for a month of evening classes, which felt like a lot for someone currently between jobs. The instructor was nice, but we spent so much time on grammar drills that my brain would literally go numb by 9 PM. It’s strange, the academy taught me how to read, but it didn’t really teach me how to talk to a person who is actually living their life in Osaka or Tokyo. There’s a massive gap between the formal Japanese they teach in these budget programs and what you actually hear on the street or in an office.

Searching for roles on overseas job sites

I spend way too much time refreshing various overseas job sites. I keep seeing these postings for software engineers where the requirements list ‘business-level Japanese.’ Every time I see that phrase, I get a knot in my stomach. What does that even mean? Is it enough to read a technical manual, or do I need to be able to participate in a three-hour meeting about budget cuts? I found this one site that claimed to simplify the ‘hiring match’ process, but it ended up being just another portal that required me to upload the same resume I had already submitted to five other places. The automation makes it feel like you aren’t even applying to humans, just to a black hole of applicant tracking systems.

The interview preparation that feels mostly like guessing

I’ve heard so much about how companies like SoftBank have stopped asking for traditional self-introduction letters. Honestly, I don’t know if that’s a relief or worse. If I can’t write a formal essay, then I have to rely on my ability to express myself in a 1-minute video or a live interview, both of which are terrifying when you aren’t fluent. I’ve been trying to practice answering questions, but I keep stumbling over the polite forms of verbs. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just stuck to a local firm here instead of obsessing over the idea of a visa and moving abroad. The uncertainty is the part that nobody really prepares you for. It’s not just about the language; it’s about whether you’re actually ready to live in a place where you’ll be the eternal outsider.

Is it worth the effort to keep going

Last weekend, I caught myself looking at flight prices to Tokyo just for a short trip to see if I could handle being there for more than a week. A round-trip ticket is around 350,000 KRW these days, depending on how far in advance you book. I didn’t buy it, though. I just looked at the screen for a long time. I have this lingering doubt that maybe I’m chasing a version of life that doesn’t exist, or that I’m spending all this time preparing for a job that I might not even enjoy if I eventually land it. I’m still studying, and I’m still looking at the job boards every morning with my coffee, but the enthusiasm has been replaced by a quiet, repetitive routine. I suppose I’ll just keep at it for another few months and see if anything clicks. Or maybe I’ll get bored and do something else entirely. I don’t really have a plan beyond tomorrow.